My neighborhood growing up

My neighborhood growing up
19th Street, Port Townsend

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Not quite there yet

Been a rough day or so.  Seems I have another UTI so back on antibiotics. (which make me nauseous)  Also seem to have a low red blood count (anemia I think) so have to get a shot on Tuesday when I see my doctor.  I'm very tired and listless and feel lightheaded off and on. Low blood pressure I assume.  Getting real weary of this whole mess!  If I could just get my insides on track, I could give more attention to physical therapy on my knee.

On the bright side, I did take a shower on my own today, got dressed, peeled a potato and grated it up for hash browns with an egg.  Very shaky by the time I sat down to eat, though.  Upper right shoulder gives me grief all the time....even in bed...yet I can move my arm freely otherwise.  The antibiotic directions said you could have tendinitis issues.  Great!

Appetite continues to be down but I have lost at least 15 pounds.  The directions for post-op surgery are daunting at times.  Pills to take, compression stockings to wear, physical therapy but all I can do is a day at a time.  Odd how a fall (even if it was a hard fall) could screw up my body to this extent.  The knee I can understand but the rest of this nonsense is getting on my nerves!

Sue and Jenni take turns staying with me at night. I probably could manage okay but it's comforting having someone in the house.  I have a terrible habit of imagining the worst.  And the nightmares....oh Lordy, they're over the top!

I am walking better with the walker but I'm no where close to using a cane.  After the surgery p/t I suppose.  My tongue flares up with an uncomfortable feeling but that might be another side effect of drugs.  My four front teeth also feel weird.  Like they've been moved  bit and the normal feeling of touching your tooth is off.

Well, this is kind of a downer blog post today but at least I'm sitting at the table and getting online for a few minutes.  Am hoping once my anemia is fixed and I'm off antibiotics, my head will clear and I can focus on the world around me. It's like I'm in a cloud a lot of the time.  whine...whine....

Maybe better tomorrow.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Hangin' in there

This morning I got myself in the shower.  That was huge for me as I've been afraid of standing on my bad leg to step over the shower rim. Thank God I have a walk-in shower!  Jenni got up at 5:30, made sure I was okay until she came back from showering at home and dressing for work.  I thought I would surprise her and see if I could be in the shower myself to save her some time.  Small steps mean a lot to me right now

I went off Prozac as the doctor thought it was contributing to the nausea and throwing up I couldn't seem to shake.  It took me away from trying to focus on physical therapy as it was making me so miserable and weak.  I'm a little shaky this morning but it's 7:30 and I managed to shower, dress, walk to the kitchen table, eat breakfast, have coffee, and start blogging.  My usual routine was to go straight to my recliner.  And I will head there once I finish this short blog.

My knee is sore but I'm hoping as I continue to walk more, the discomfort will ease a bit. The p/t is coming at 1 pm and I'm hoping to be able to perform better than I did last week.  Right shoulder continues to throb but I think it's less than it has been and for that I'm thankful as it was making me leery of using the walker as much as I needed to.

The home health nurse came yesterday to take more blood, urine, and check my vitals. Blood pressure was still low but they think perhaps the Prozac might have been causing that too.  I'm just in the hands of whoever can take care of me at this point.  Life lesson is that I'm not as tough as I thought I would be in bad health.  Course I think I always knew I was a big scaredy cat; just didn't realize how vulnerable I was.

When I'm laying in bed I force myself to not think about surgery or the rehab. One day at a time. I let my mind roam to the things I'm going to do around the house and yard.  Will take me a while but I intend to downsize in a big way.  Too much junk around here! Much more than I need....cds, books, games, puzzles, knickknacks, etc.  We'll see.  Maybe I'll look at things differently when I'm up and moving.  Saw Brian Williams of NBC news just had a knee replacement and he talked about how helpful it was to hear from others who had the operation and did well afterwards.  Heaven knows I've altered my activities a lot these past years because of bad knees/back.

Food still has little interest for me but I force myself to eat so I don't feel sick.  This may be the one bright spot in this whole ordeal.  I have a renewed confidence that I can change eating habits.  The new knee will appreciate it, I'm sure.

My list of appointments for Sept seem daunting.  I see my primary care doctor on Tuesday and myh surgeon later.  Have to check into what I need to take to the nursing home too.

I haven't had the energy to open any bills or look at my bank balance but I hope to get things in a little bit of order next week as Jenni helps me online.  Thank you Barb Shaw for sending me my first
check for book sales at Don's Pharmacy.  It raised my spirits sooooo much!

Spread the word out there.  I have a lot left here at home to mail out.  $12.50 to mail. Address is 1822 W. 15th St, Port Angeles, WA 98363.  $10 if you buy at the drug store in downtown Port Townsend. I think you'll like the book.  I have to sell 100 to recoup my printing costs and then the second 100 will be my profit.  Ha!  The dentist will probably take that.  I haven't opened his bills yet. Too afraid.
Here's a picture Jenni took of me last week as she was wheeling me into his office.

Kind of sad about the things I'm missing out on right now.  Was suppose to visit my cousin, Ann, in Tacoma on Sept. 15th for her birthday. Planned on staying overnight.  Next year maybe.  My cousin, Jimmy, is in town and I planned to drive in to visit him. I was really disappointed about that but we talked on the phone. Missed the two county fairs, missed my class picnic, and will miss my cousin, Susie's wedding in PT on Oct. 11th.  Very happy for her and I so wanted to go.  Best wishes Sue!

And thank you to Carol Wilson Colby for the nice surprise in the mail of  a bathtub, sink, and toilet for my collection. I just love them!
My first chuckle today (and there haven't been that many chuckles in this house lately) was Jenni's comment to me as I hobbled from the shower back to my bed to get dressed.

"You're so Grandpa", she said.  "You're moving along with your tongue hanging out the side of your mouth and you had to stop and turn off the bathroom light to save electricity."

And while I haven't been posting much on Facebook, I do want to say hello and I'm thinking of you to all those who are going through health problems, who have had birthdays, anniversarys, and who are planning weddings.  Congrats to my cousin, Cindy, who is basking in the joy of both her children marrying.

Well, I've  worn myself out sitting here so time to move to another place to sit. Ha!  I can answer quick emails on my phone. Just too hard to write long conversations.

Jenni will be proud of me that I posted this morning.  She said:  "Good for you for heading right to your computer this morning. You have got to let people know how you're doing so they won't quit lovin' on you."  Hee Hee   She's such a joy to have.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Beginning another week

Well, I wish I could report that I'm better than I was last week. Actually, I guess I am in many ways. Just not back to where I want to be yet.  Left knee is sore pretty much 24/7 but I force myself to walk on it and do the exercises two times a day or more.

Since my knee replacement is still a month off, I've resigned myself to the fact that September (and October) are not going to be the best months of the year for me.  Part of the problem continues to be anxiety.  I struggle with it and take one day at a time.  Got back on Prozac but I've heard that can take weeks to take affect.  Started on this other anti anxiety pill too that is suppose to make me relax and help with the nausea.  So far, it's just made me drowsy as hell.  I cut the pill in half and take it at night and every six hours as needed.  I've been bothered with anxiety attacks in the past (1985 was especially bad) but for the most part, I've dealt with it.  Damn nuisance I know that much!

My appetite continues to sputter in the gutter.  Good side of that is that I need to lose weight. Bad side is that I have to force myself to eat even small portions just to keep something on my stomach to hold back the nausea which comes and goes.  One thing that especially agitates me is how I can break down in tears over the slightest thing.  Yesterday, for example,  I got my visa bill. I knew it would be high cause my book publishing was on there but ancestry.com charged me $85 for six more months membership and I know I cancelled in time.  After being on hold with them and trying to explain, they insisted they had to record of my cancelling.  I cried.  Any other time I would have argued with them.  I'll deal with it.

I just may lend out my user name and password to whoever wants to look up their ancesters. I hadn't intended to use the website any too soon but if they're forcing me, I may share it.

Home health nurses come in twice a week or more and draw blood, take my b/p, check on meds, etc.
Yesterday when she came I was in the middle of a meltdown with ancestry but she got me calmed down.  I thought my b/p would be off the charts but it was 100/66. (very low for me)  Can't recall it being that low in years.

Jenni took me to the dentist this morning. I threw up before we left (nausea again) and was a nervous wreck that I would puke on the dentist.  He's so nice.  Got two cavities filled and came home and slept all morning and half the afternoon.  Jenni left various food things near my chair (pudding, applesauce, cheese sandwich, yogurt) so I did eat a little bit after the novacaine wore off.  We picked up some ginger ale too as the dentist asst said she thought that helped nausea.

Hunter came by and cut my lawn and I finally figured out a way to step into my shower that made me more comfortable than trying to stand on my bad leg. Used the walker.  You learn how to maneuver anyway you can when you're laid up.  Night time sleeping continues to be rough as I switch out pillows and change sides through out the night.

Answering the phone is difficult.  If I can even get the damn thing to work!  Sometimes it's just too hard to try and talk. I can't explain it.  Depression I suppose.  My head's not in the right place for company just yet and I apologize to Linda and Ruth who were going to come up tomorrow.  I'm trying to get where I need to be. 

Today was more or less the first time I was left home all alone.  I suppose I was way overdue  but I knew I couldn't depend on the girls babying me forever. I got so fearful of being alone but I'm battling it.  I know that sounds weird when I just said having company was hard.  I'm learning a lot about myself through this ordeal God is putting me through.  I keep apologizing for not being stronger mentally but I'll get back to that place.  I was really in dark area for a while there. Dreams were full of people I knew who have died.  I have an active imagination and like my daughters tell me, I think things to death and am forever playing the "what if" game.  Gotta quit that.

I have to go to the hospital lab tomorrow (unless I get a phone call from the home health nurse) who is seeing if the blood they've been drawing here is good enough.  I've had an EKG, chest xray, knee xrays, knee aspirated twice, two MRIs, several blood draws, a dose of antibiotics--and long talks with God.

Jen and Wayne and the kids went to the ocean with friends this past weekend so I've got pictures to share that she took. Also some of Hunter at the fair with his tractor. He rebuilt a 1961 and bought a larger one to rebuild next.

Thank you for all the cards and facebook notes. I appreciate it. And thank you to Linda and Barb for helping me sell my books at Dons. I've been so worn out, I just haven't had the energy to even worry about selling them until I'm well.  I don't know how much weight I've lost but it has to be at least 10 pounds by now.  I plan to drop a lot more the rest of this year.

Well, I'm getting warm sitting here at the kitchen table so time to head back to my recliner. I walk from laptop (now and then but not much) to recliner, to bed, to bathroom, and back.  Outside appts we use the wheelchair and ramp.  What a godsend that has been!




 at the fairway show Clallam Co. Fair, Hunter shows off his tractor


                          I especially love this shadows photo Jenni took
 The let the kids drive my car on the beach. She's a braver mom than me
 Sammy couldn't resist licking Hunter's face as they prepared him for burial
                                                      Is this cute or what?!

I didn't check for spelling. Too tired.  Have found that watching any tv news sends me  straight into depression. Way too much bad stuff everywhere.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Back online...a little bit

If I get nothing else accomplished today, I do plan on posting on my blog.  It's 9:15 a.m. and I'm walking very slowly and painfully, but am able to get from frontroom to bedroom to bathroom under my own steam. Still have to talk myself into every single step.

Once I figure out how to sleep more comfortably at night, I'm hoping my strength will return. Physical therapist came Friday and will return tomorrow with exercises I'm trying to do twice a day. Hope to get to the dentist this or next week to get an evaluation on what's going on with my teeth. At least four are loose or something?  Leaving me with terrible dry mouth during the night and I'm fairly certain the nerves are exposed since cold water hurts.  One thing at a time. I know I can't get knee replacement unless the dentist says there's no infection in the mouth.  My lower lip has a big sore on it too but I'm more focused on my left knee for now.

My goal is to get stronger, keep exercising the knee, continue to lose weight, and prepare myself for
knee replacement at the end of September.  I have to figure out how to find out if medicare and aarp will pay for me going to a nursing home rehab after the operation for a couple weeks. I need someone here 24/7 when I return from the hospital and as I continue physical therapy on the knee.  I've heard that's no walk in the park but these past three weeks have been pure hell painwise so how worse could it be?!
I've also heard that once you get through the after surgery therapy, you feel better and are glad you went through with it.  Anybody know where I can check on medicare coverage for nursing home care after an operation?  I've heard they pay for the surgery; just not positive about the after care. Would appreciate any info.

My appetite continues to be poor and I usually only eat just because I'm taking ibuprofen and know I need something in my stomach.  Have only lost 8 pounds or so but once I can get moving, I know that will get better.

Depression has been hard on me through this period.  I seem to cry at the drop of a hat.  Frustration and pain will do that, I suppose.  Always thought I was a little tougher but I guess not.  I may see about getting on anti-anxiety pills for a while to take the edge off.

I try not to think about the fall but sometimes my mind goes back to that night and I'm shocked at how quickly and HARD I fell, and how it altered my life just as quickly.  I will forever be aware of the possibility of falling.  It's been comforting to hear others stories of their falls or people they know falling and the consequences they dealt with.  You feel so alone.

Getting down the three steps to the car (for doc appts) was especially difficult and scary. I was so relieved with my son-in-law, Andy, and my brother, Les, built a ramp on Saturday.

Every day brings me a little closer to health but you definitely have to dig deep sometimes to keep your resolve strong.  I intend to be more aware of people who are laid up with injuries and to help all I can.  My girls have been my rock and sometimes I just cry with thankfulness for them.

Getting on the phone is still tiring and I'm surprised I'm sitting here as long as I have been to type.
Am hoping to get two books mailed today but it's slow going as I have to direct my "helpers" to find envelopes, addresses, return stamp, etc. and to take them to the post office. (thank you Bobby Comas and Marian Garrett) I'll try to get your books off today or tomorrow.

And thank you to Barb Shaw and Linda Pedersen for helping me get my books to the store counter for sale.  I just don't have the energy right now to give it my attention.

Well, off to the kitchen counter to see if I can't get my morning exercises done as long as I'm up and out of my recliner.  Thank you everyone for your facebook comments and well wishes. It really helped.

Also, if you call and don't get an answer, it's either because I'm just too tired or the phone is away from my side. Sometimes it rings and quits ringing before anyone can get to it.  I'm thankful I have my cell (always by my side for support) but they can be difficult little gadgets to operate at the same time.

And that will be it for today.

Monday, August 12, 2013

What a way to leave my 60's!

I was determined to get at least one little thing accomplished today.  This will be a short post as writing on my lap is too uncomfortable.  Too much to write to explain everything that's happened but hopefully, I'll be able to recall some of the events later.

As if dealing with this banged up knee isn't bad enough, now my right shoulder/arm is KILLING ME!  I suspect from using my arms on the walker to help me navigate a few steps from time to time.
I went to the orthopedic surgeon this morning for more x-rays. Wanted to die right then and there.  Then she aspirated more fluid from my knee as it was swelling again.  It's wrapped and I'm taking pain pill and antibiotic.

Friday I go see her again and then head off to the hospital for a surgery to clean out the wound.  The
knee fluid showed bacteria growth and it has to be dealt with so I can begin healing. Slow process. Arthritis is always going to be there. I've accepted that. I just want to be able to live in my house without a caregiver.

Has made me very aware of the understanding and patience and help you need to extend those whose body has caused them to cripple up.  Has made me aware of several things really.  And yes, I seem to cry a lot.  Pain and frustration will do that.  I am soooooo thankful for my daughters and granddaughters.  And thank you to my brother, Les, who got me a good walker.

For now my daily routine is sit in my recliner with leg elevated, take pills, use walker to get to commode (next to my recliner until I go to bed when it's next to my bed).  Gross, I know, but you do what you have to do.  Lost all modesty of relieving myself and being naked in front of others.  Poor Catie gagged a couple times but we laughed it off and she said we're gonna make up a poopy song to sing for when she has to wipe my butt.  ha ha   We  discuss poop a whole lot now.

We make fun of everything and everybody. Jenni keeps me laughing.  When we were in the ER the first time, a doctor asked how I fell.  Jenni told him it was the F..ing Deer's fault.  After he heard the story, he said, "I think you're right. It was the F...ing Deer."  (I was out moving bird seed to keep it away from the deer at night when I tripped on the rockery and caused a minor earthquake on our street.

I've  been so wiped out, I couldn't get online, didn't watch tv much, couldn't read, had no appetite,and
had lots of weird thoughts about wondering if "this is it."  Always the drama queen but I have to be realistic too.  One good fall can alter your lifestyle forever.

I don't see how some people survive car wrecks and crime attacks and such.  All I did was fall down and if I didn't have these kids coming to my aid, I'd be in the nursing home.  I never take their help for granted.

And this will be the extent of blogging today.  Thank you for the cards and Facebook shout outs. I appreciate it.  And thank you to Linda Pedersen for helping me get my Town Kid books in to Don's Pharmacy.  I'm too weary to market them at other places right now but I've got time.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Updates from the daughters....

Hi there.  Mary here.  Joyce's daughter.  If you're reading this blog, I'm guessing you've been wondering what happened to Joyce?   As you might know, she took a fall on the pavement in July 27th (trying to do too much in the yard--no doubt).   She was pretty banged up, with her left knee getting the worst of it.  The doctor's prescribed pain pills (lovely) but her knee wasn't getting any better.  Jenni (the favorite daughter <>) and her kids had been staying with her 24/7 but she started getting wacky on the pain pills.    She was slurring her words, saying odd stuff, and barely eating or drinking.  All that caused enough worry to call the aid car on Tuesday night.   The paramedics decided to take her in and the hospital decided to keep her. 

Initial diagnosis showed dehydration, a UTI infection, and some other smaller issues, but I'm not going to list them on this blog (Mom wouldn't hesitate though).   It appears these were more than likely results from the pain pills.  This did lead to them FINALLY ordering an MRI on her knee.  (Don't get me started on the health care system in this country.  I find it absolutely appalling that they treat with drugs until it becomes an emergency before the order "expensive" tests.)   I digress.  The MRI showed a meniscus tear and a lot of fluid.  They took out some of the fluid this morning and are testing it for either arthritis or joint.  (No, I don't know what that means either).  

We're still waiting for a plan from the doctor.  We're not clear if surgery is required or just physical therapy.  We don't know when she's getting released from the hospital.   Jenni, Sue, granddaughter Catie,and I are working on a schedule to stay with her when she does get released.

She's feeling much better today than she has in a week.  I think she's thrilled to have the MRI over and hopefully a plan for recovery.   She's not very mobile.  Well, make that not mobile at all, but, have no fear, she's taking notes on all her observations that she plans to share on her blog when she's feeling better.

She's had some phone trouble, but I got her hooked back up on her smartphone so she can read email, check Facebook and get calls.  She's very pissed at Rogers Wireless (Canadian carrier) that keeps interrupting her coverage.  

To send well wishes:
Phone: (360) 643-1304
Email:  kuhnkid@gmail.com or
Facebook:  post on her wall or private message her. 

She'd love it. 
If you really want to cheer up.  Buy her book.   It looks great by the way.

Mary
 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

This is what it's like to be bedridden

First of all, I'm on drugs so writing in bed on my laptop  is difficult. I might not go to the bother of fixing caps or sentence structure or spelling.  I'm also probably going to be "all over the place" as I skip from subject to subject. Just getting this paragraph written required a lot of back spacing and repair. More than I want to mess with. I'm not sitting as upright as I'd like but at least I'm mostly upright.

I've got a tray to my left with my cell phone, my smart phone, my remote, my pills, my glasses, a bell for calling Jen, a small mirror,and a piece of paper with a pencil so I can write down the pill taking time. For some reason,  I can't get them straight.  To the right of me is my coffee, my water, my lamp, a bedside toilet, and an ice chest on the floor holding my ice packs.  The scariest thing is making my way to the pot and back to bed.  Every morning when I get up and still can't walk, I'm discouraged.  I'm suspecting physical therapy would never be my strong suit. 

Sometimes I need the air cleaner on to cover the noise outside (helicopters and dogs). Other times I need the fan on to cool down the room  I seldom use a blanket or even a sheet at night.  I alternate  between wearing a knee brace and using ice packs.  I have to force myself to eat (not a bad thing) but I'd love getting on the scale to see how much I've lost.  Just as well, I can't get in there,though. If it's not a high number,I'll just be sad all over again. One thing at a time.

It is amusing have my granddaughter here during the day.  Yesterday I decided it was time after three days to change my underpants and to take a sink path (with a plastic dishpan that she fixed up for me).  When she came back into the room 'cause I needed to wash my hoo hoo and I wasn't about to put her through that, she carefully picked the dirty underpants up by her fingertips and said "Eweeew... you have big grandma pants."  I retorted..."well, what did you expect?  That I'd be wearing thongs?!

I didn't mean they were BIG; I just think you should wear boy boxers. They're more comfortable.  When I told Jenni about this conversation, she laughed and said: "That's okay. She told Grandma Kathy you hadn't changed underpants in three days!  (the things we find to laugh at)

I had a very interesting dream last night. I know it's the drugs giving me halluciations.  This dream went on and on.  I'd wake up and then start in on it again.  I couldn't help but wonder if last nights' dream wasn't a message to me about why this has happened.  Too much to discuss now but maybe another day.  My lip is healing (I  think) but it might leave a scar. I don't even care. Got a bruise on my stomach now and my chin and it kinda hurts to touch my nose and gums. My lower left leg is sore but the main discomfort is the left knee,both in front, on the sides and in the back. Takes all I've got to throw my legs over the side of the bed and stand up and then sit down again.

I think Jenni and Maddie are both hoping my first  bowel movement happens on the other persons' shift.  I don't actually think Maddie could carry out the task of emptying the bucket into the toilet. Jen says she might call Sue to do it.  (that's a joke)  Jenni keeps insisting I really should try and take a shower.  I keep insisting it isn't happening until I can walk with a walker.

My books are supposed to arrive today or tomorrow.  I'm so anxious to see them and at the same time, I have my doubts I'll be able to attend the county fair on the 9th. I had planned  to take a bunch into Don's Pharmacy that day . If not I'll have to cancel my class picnic on the 11th as well. We'll see.
Well, this is a disgusting picture but I didn't let that stop me from putting it on Facebook...
Gonna sign off now and take another nap.  Sigh.....